怎样写一篇作文？（16）

最近有同学提到了一个关于考试的问题：之前参加国内的四六级考试以及考研，写作成绩都还不错，但后来考了雅思和GRE，发现写作分数惨不忍睹，这是为什么？

造成这种情况的一个可能原因是国内外考官对于“好的写作”的评判标准不一样。国内举办的英文考试评卷者的母语一般是汉语，而雅思和GRE考官的母语是英语，两者对于英文的敏感度是不一样的。对于四六级以及考研来说，考官可能会将关注点放在语言层面，比如文章里面是不是用了很多大词难词，句式是不是很华丽，语法是不是很复杂。很多时候作文只要满足了这几点，就能得到还不错的分数（虽然文章的内容和逻辑可能不怎么样）。

但对于出国考试来说，这一招就不管用了。乱用大词难词和长难句可能可以糊弄一部分国内老师，但对于外国考官来说很难奏效，因为考官的母语是英语，他们对这门语言非常敏感。作文的用词和句式一旦有不准确的地方，他们很容易就会觉察到。而且除了语言层面的东西，他们会更加关注文章的内容和逻辑。一篇文笔优美但逻辑混乱的文章不太可能拿到高分，反之，一篇文笔一般但思想深刻的作文却有可能拿到不错的分数。两种考试的评分差异也体现出中西方对于“好的写作”的认知差异。

这对于我们的启示是：写英语作文时不确定的单词和句式千万不要乱用，堆砌辞藻绝不是一篇好作文的标准。比起语言层面上的东西，语言背后的思想才是真正值得关注的东西。这一点我们会在后面的写作中不断感受到。

今天要分析的作文题目是：

power is the best to our ever- needs. To what do you agree or ?

这是原始作文版本：

习作/热心网友

When it comes to power, will get into a panic of they don’t have a of power. In fact, it has an part of in our life. power is a great to our ever- needs, but not the best as far as I’m .

power is , clean and -, so as to fix the of . Many have power , in these , power is still a small of their . , power is more and more and the of of can be by it if well .

But sadly, power has not and will never be the best for lack of trust, and from the two . For , the was to build a power plant in years ago, a huge and a lot of the . As a , it was in the bud.

What in and is so and that many are about . and that there will be a as well as which the can’t once . , what is to power is as it’s to , which more to the of power.

, there is still a long way for the to go to power and there are in their way, both of which will power from being the best to .

这是点评版本：

思路分析：

power is the best to our ever- needs. To what do you agree or ?

这道题目相对比较好写，审题没有压力。这里支持或者反对题目的观点都可以。如果支持题目的观点，即认为核能是解决我们能源需求的最好方法，可以列出的理由有：

（1）比起其他新能源（比如风能和太阳能），核能对外界的依赖更少。核能发电不依赖于天气条件，这使得它能够在更多气候条件恶劣的地区应用。

（2）核电站不产生温室气体和其他有害气体，核能的大规模使用能够缓解全球变暖以及空气污染。

（3）地球的核燃料储量丰富，能够支持人类未来的长期使用。

如果反对题目的观点，即认为核能不是最好的能源解决方案，可以列出的理由有：

（1）核电站有安全隐患，切尔诺贝利和福岛核事故就是很典型的例子。

（2）核电站产生的核废料很难处理，如果处理不好可能会破坏环境以及危害人类的健康。

（3）大规模推广核能还可能会导致核扩散。如果恐怖分子掌握了核技术，全球的安全可能会受到威胁。

下面给出我写的一个版本，立场是支持题目观点：

习作/魏剑峰

One of the faces today is an over- on fuels, and many feel there is a great need for , such as power. I that power the best to the world’s .

It is true that there is over the of . other , power could spell if out of hand. of the and the , both of which have the lives of of and had long- for the , will not fade . The safe of waste is also a as it . All these lead some to the of this .

, power has that can hold great for the . , are not on and can a and . By , such as solar rely on , and the they is in to that by . For this , with can use to to fuels. , power no . Were it in place of coal and gas, and air could be . , given that there is a huge of on Earth, the by could be , it to meet our ever- needs.

, there are from power, such as the of waste and the of , but as , such can be .

, power the best of . The use of this would the world, will to be a major .